Love’s Toll

Over two months and we are still here
Still struggling, wanting to be near
Love inside intense, burning still
Yet a void expands, swallows and fills
Self doubt depresses within
Feeling as though we cannot, will not win
But staying and fighting is all I can do
Because that fire inside is only for you
Struggle and fight and yell and cry
I’ll do this until all my energy runs dry
Indulge during the good to survive the bad
I will be here even though you think me mad
Love has woven our hearts tight
Now let’s do our best to live through the night

I Do Not Understand

I do not understand
All of the years we’ve been through
Now you take your place at another’s side
And all my woes aimed at you

I do not understand
The lies you weave on either side
Creates a web of hatred towards all connected
But here, now, I must confide

I do not understand
The time u spend with me
Is wasted with thoughts and conversations with another
And for some reason, I just let you be

I do not understand
Why this all comes so easy
Why it seemed inevitable in the end
To drop it all and not feel the least bit queasy

Now I understand
That our separate paths have been forged
I take the right, you the left
My emotions engorged

Now I understand
Another, no matter how entrapped you appear,
Is the only companion you seek
The only one I fear

I do not understand
Why it has to work out this way
But I now understand that in the end
Happiness will find me, no matter how hard though it may

Pointless

Help me I’m crying out
I’m trying to find out
What is this inside my head
Wanting me to forget
All of the bullshit in life
Is tearing my insides
I’m screaming behind this mask
Trying to get past
But what’s the point in the end
When we struggle to win
And find out in the black
We simply fall through the cracks
And all that was us
Is left in the dust
Then the next one steps up to bat
And swings until he becomes the next mat
As a never-ending circle
Continues to entangle